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About this drink: This is the first energy drink I've seen to feature a porn star on the can. In pale green relief in the top corner (and indeed, all over their website) is porn "model" Silvia Saint. I was curious as to whether this drink fell into the curious "energy drinks and aphrodisiacs" category, but it seems to contain no aphrodisiac ingredients, nor claim any magical powers in the bedroomal department. Appearance, aroma, argh? To the eye: It's yellow-brown. I partly suspected this was going to be either blue or green, but that's based entirely on the colour of the print on the can. I'm neither impressed nor disappointed in the colour of the beverage, so far. The label claims the drink is carbonated, but it was barely even pressurised upon opening and the drink poured as flat as a car parking lot. To the nose: It smells exactly -- and I wish I had a second can so as to test this theory properly -- like Red Bull. This leads me to suspect that Private Energy may be colonpipe.com's first rebadged exotic beverage! The colour and smell are absolutely identical to Red Bull. It's also pasteurised. The only spanner in these works is that Private Energy's label claims it contains ginseng, an ingredient not present in Red Bull. Lacking a mass-spectrometer, I cannot chemically analyze this drink. Thus, one test remains! To the mouth: It's still Red Bull. I'm grasping at minutiae here, but it's a tiny, tiny, tiny bit sweeter than Red Bull. And a little while after: It does an amazing job of drying out the mouth and throat. I've recently had a cold, and Private Energy seems to want nothing better than to make me cough in an awkward fashion. When it gets warm: Yeah, I didn't try it. Sorry, this review pre-dates this criteria. It's probably for the best. Overall: Quite frankly, you can read my review of Red Bull for my opinion of that, because it's virtually identical. I shall paraphrase for the terminally lazy: It tastes kind of like vomit, albeit in this case vomit with added sweetness. And apparently ginseng. And I'm curious as to whether all cans of this gear are flat, or whether I simply bought a dodgy one.  Those are the only bubbles it comes with. No more are created.  Smell-O-Vision would be awesome at this point. |
 Energy. Of the private variety. Tagline: It doesn't appear to have one, although it does inexplicably feature Silvia Saint. Manufacturer: It's imported by Private Drinks, Australia, in Smeaton Grange, NSW. It's made in the Netherlands. Website: http://www.privatedrinks.com.au/ - a complete website, featuring the requisite gallery of semi-naked women and sports. Daily dosage: CONTAINS CAFFEINE. Not recommended for children, pregnant or lactating women, or persons sensitive to caffeine." "Consume no more than 1.6 cans per day." 1.6. One point six. Suspiciously specific. One assumes a guy in a white lab coat devised this number. Or threw a dart at a board, anyway. Volume: Can; 250ml. Ingredients: Contains caffeine, ginseng, taurine and the usual host of B-vitamins. The oddity on this cast of characters is Safflower Extract, which is from the safflower, and among other things is commonly used as a substitute for saffron in cooking, and is used to repel squirrels from birdseed. You can't write this kind of comedy. Energy: 55.2 calories. Caffeine: 32mg. Taurine: 400mg. |